The Introduction

Dear diary,

I’ve never kept a journal before. It feels foreign to me. Am I supposed to introduce myself since this is my first entry? Or is that just pitifully retarded? Oh heck, I’ll just go ahead.

My name is Beth. Beth Walters. I was born and raised in Manhattan and have lately been considering getting a nose job (but more about that later).  My father, Hugh Walters, is a divorce lawyer who often has to go overseas to see to his ‘clients.’ In my family, ‘client’ is the code word for mistress. It’s much more civilized, you see. As for my mother, Claire Walters, she is just your typical ice queen with a penchant for pills and Prada. She has never laid a finger on any play by Shakespeare or poem by Milton but she has read Valley of the Dolls front to back at least twenty times.

Of course, I don’t live with my parents. A 21 year-old girl absolutely cannot reside in the same building as her family. It simply does not work. No, I live in a cute little apartment in Soho with a guy named William Tyler. He goes to NYU and I really don’t know much more about him because he tends to keep to himself. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen him come out of his room in the last three days… 

So, lastly, I should probably mention some of the people I willingly associate with on a regular basis. First and foremost, I have a terrifyingly gorgeous best friend called Laura Holland. She kind of resembles Olivia Palermo; dead behind the eyes with a perennially vacant expression, but oh so beautiful. Laura’s pet peeves are monogamy and homeless people. My other bff is Miller Hall. He is fabulous, devilishly handsome and likes boys. Speaking of boys, my main boy is one Alistair White, a wonderful Brit with marvellous chocolate brown hair. I met him four months ago at a fancy dress party – he was Gatsby and I was Marchesa Casati. With his nouveau riche swagger and my raccoon eye makeup, it was instant chemistry.

Well, I should probably stop there. I have to go deliver a cherry pie I made for my new neighbour. Her name is Hattie and she has skin so leathery and tan you almost expect to find LV monograms on her body. Okay, take care and ciao!

Beth